Indiana Jones and the Cauldron of Geritol

Did anybody else who saw "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" think the title character came across as somewhat cardboard?

I can't really decide whether it was a result of:
* Harrison Ford's performance;
* Some missing scenes that didn't make it into the final edit of the movie; or
* The way Indy was depicted in the film as a man in his 60s who was still jumping around in warehouse rafters and falling over huge waterfalls.

Maybe I'll go with the third possibility. Inasmuch as my parents thought William Shatner looked really stupid as a 50-something policeman chasing down 20-something crooks on foot in "T. J. Hooker," some of Indy's stunts seemed a little impossible for someone that gray.

Maybe the script for the new movie should have aged the character mentally and physically, showing us an Indiana Jones who was cagier, wiser and tougher than before, even if he'd lost some of his physical prowess. He didn't have to be bitter, hostile and mean like Bruce Wayne in Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns." We know a lot happened to Henry Jones Jr. in the interim, however, we don't see how it affected him.

Instead, we got essentially same character from some 15 years earlier, despite a plethora of untold adventures from World War II at which the film hints. He hasn't really grown as a person even after all sorts of experiences, theoretically both good and bad.

Also, throughout the movie, Indy was exerting himself physically the same way he did as a much younger man. Everyone has to give a nod to age eventually. Even Roger Clemens.

Not to go too overboard of the "Star Trek" cast comparisons, but "Star Trek II," showed the crew of the Enterprise years after the original series dealing with aging and mortality.

An older Indiana Jones would probably be doing the same thing. It might have helped the movie if we had seen it. With such a physical character, that could have meant a scene in which Indy had to face new limits on his athleticism and find a way to succeed despite them.

After all, the strongest fictional characters are the ones who overcome the biggest obstacles.

The Cleveland Indians aren't hitting

That's the simple truth. There's probably a more complex solution, but the problem is quite simple.

My dilemma is this: every day I watch Cleveland.com and Yahoo to see if they made a trade for a hitter. I have convinced myself starting about, say, a month ago, that something is imminent. They have to make some kind of a move, right?

Instead, what happens? They promote Ben Francisco (who probably should never have been sent to AAA after spring training) and Michael Aubrey (who was a heck of a college hitter). Not bad moves if the team was rebuilding, but this a team that is wasting some pretty doggone impressive starting pitching.

As a fan, I am sick of watching the team flounder. I also have been wondering if we fans overrated people like Jhonny Peralta, Travis Hafner, Ryan Garko and the lot.

One interesting thing I noted is that young star Grady Sizemore's stats have gotten worse every year since 2006. Using the simple OPS formula (on-base percentage plus slugging percentage), he has gone from .907 to .852 to this year's .821.

I wish I had some solution that would save the Tribe's season, but I can't say much that hasn't already been said, and probably better by people like Terry Pluto (check out my links on the side of the page).

My only thought is this: It seems to me that the Indians may have to contemplate a move like the Toronto Blue Jays made before the 1991 season. They had a lot of good players, but they hadn't gone deep in the playoffs. So, they traded two of their best players, Fred McGriff and Tony Fernandez, to the San Diego Padres for Joe Carter and Roberto Alomar. They also added Devon White as a free agent, and the team won the division in 1991 and back-to-back World Series titles in 1992 and 1993.

I am not entirely sure that the economics of modern baseball would let the Indians do this, or if they have the players and the trading partner to re-cast their stars with other stars. But, if I were a member of the Indians front office, I'd be thinking about it.

What a boar!

Here's a story that's completely boar-ing, but quite funny.

Tough series?

An editorial cartoon for your enjoyment.

Serial cereal blogging

Indiana Jones cereal tastes like it's been in the bottom of an ancient tomb for about 1,000 years. Bleachhhh.

It's chocolate puffs with little marshmallows, kind of like a cross between Coco Puffs and Lucky Charms.

The chocolate puffs taste more like cardboard, and the marshmallows are powdery, sort of like that green spongy stuff they use to put cut flowers in.

I'd recommend it as an excellent treat for animals who won't know the difference and are just happy to be eating people food, but for humans I'd stick with something else.

Your identity isn't quite theft proof, even with "Lifelock"

Ever seen the commercial where the owner of Lifelock has a semi with his social security number on the side? He tells the viewing audience that, even though his number is widely available, his identity is completely safe.

I sat through a sales presentation/information session about this service, which is sold kind of like insurance. I always thought it sounded good, but most of the things they will do for you, you can do yourself, to include putting a hold on your credit with the big three credit companies.

This article says it may not be quite as good as advertised.

ID-protection ads come back to bite pitchman

SAN JOSE, Calif. - Todd Davis has dared criminals for two years to try stealing his identity: Ads for his fraud-prevention company, LifeLock, even offer his Social Security number next to his smiling mug.
Now, Lifelock customers in Maryland, New Jersey and West Virginia are suing Davis, claiming his service didn't work as promised and he knew it wouldn't, because the service had failed even him.

An "Eddie From Ohio" video

If these guys aren't my favorite band, they're darn close.

From Wikipedia ('cause I am too lazy to write it myself) for the uninitiated:

"Eddie From Ohio (or often just EFO) is an American folk band. Formed in 1991 in Northern Virginia, the band has achieved considerable local success, winning four Wammies (Washington, D.C. area music awards) and a nationwide following, all outside the purview of major record labels. Name notwithstanding, the band is not from Ohio. A college friend of Hartness's coined the nickname for him, by analogy with the lead singer of fIREHOSE, Ed 'From Ohio' Crawford."

Snack foods that sound like sex acts

This is courtesy the great duo of Paul and Storm.

Maybe 'bird brain' shouldn't be an insult

Lost parrot tells veterinarian his address

TOKYO - When Yosuke the parrot flew out of his cage and got lost, he did exactly what he had been taught — recite his name and address to a stranger willing to help.

A few minutes of Stan Freberg

Here's about five minutes of Stan Freberg appearing on the Dick Cavett show and talking about why he doesn't like to do talk show appearances.

I have always wanted to pay for something in pennies

Ken Griffey Jr. did. $1,500 worth, to be exact.

I am sure some of you saw this when it ran, but even a few days late, it's still pretty amusing.

Why is gas priced at 9/10?

Thanks to "Yahoo!," we have an answer.

Serial cereal blogging

After opening the box o' 30 little boxes of cereal yesterday, today I had Eggo French toast toaster waffles.

Eat them. You will like them.

Serial cereal blogging

Today, I opened the first of 30, count 'em 30, little boxes of cereal I got a Sam's Club. They came packaged together in one big box.

Now, it will be at least a month before I get sick of one kind of cereal. But, maybe at the end of the month, I'll be simultaneously sick of eight kinds. I guess we'll see.

By the way, that's not what my actual box looks like. I am too lazy to take an actual picture and upload it. But, it does feature the same brands of cereal. Or close enough.

Those Pollyanna creeps are ruining the economy

This article says the economy may be worse than we think, thanks to a culmination of adjustments made over the last few decades to the way we measure various economic indicators.

"Pollyanna creep" is the term applied to the cumulative effect.

(To be consistent with the intellectual tone of the article to which I have linked, I used a lot of big words in this post to make it seem scholarly.)

DHP again

I am a little late linking to this, but here's a new issue of "Dark Horse Presents," with a "Milk and Cheese" strip. There's nothing quite like two full pages of dairy products abusing people dressed as animals.

(Note: "Milk and Cheese," while quite funny, is not for all ages.)

No matter what, you'll always be close to my ... stomach?

Girl's twin is found inside her stomach
ATHENS, Greece - A 9-year-old girl who went to the hospital in central Greece suffering from stomach pains was found to be carrying her embryonic twin, doctors said Thursday.

Vince Colletta: Threat or menace?

(There's that "Daily Bugle" headline again.)

Vince Colletta is one of the most reviled figures in comic art history. He was an inker who worked in the industry who many people feel often ruined the work of the men who's pencil art he was entrusted to ink.

A Colletta sample is included on the left at the top of this entry. Its' easy to see that every character looks lumpy, some of the lines are so scratchy they didn't reproduce on the page and almost all of the style of the penciller, Jack Kirby, is covered up or just plain destroyed.

Kirby was notorious for drawing complete pencils that didn't need much work by the inker to look good. Here, variations in line width look to be completely ignored, making it hard to determine what the viewer is supposed to focus on. A heavier line for the closer figures would add to the drawing's sense of depth. Further, the black areas don't do much to draw the reader's eye around the panel, nor do they help frame the most important part of the drawing.

I imagine this is not how Kirby's pencil art looked, and is not how he intended the finished product to look.

Most fans prefer Joe Sinnott's work on Kirby. Note the stronger and cleaner linework and much better sense of depth.

Why all this comment? Here's a link to a new column by Erik Larson that sort of defends Colletta.

Here's another link to a column by Mark Evanier taking completely the opposite approach, saying "... almost all the top illustrators whose work was inked by Colletta are on record as saying they thought he was terrible."

Evanier also links to a Colletta defender, comics artist Eddie Campbell.

I tend to agree with Evanier, though. I have a whole bunch of Lee-Kirby issues of "Thor," that should be wonderful treats, but I can't read them. I can't get past Colletta's ruining of Kirby's pencil art. There's a good example of Colletta eliminating detail work from Kirby's art in Evanier's column.

Colletta erased parts of the original drawings, often had a horrible sense of line work, and generally made every artist's faces look like Colletta faces. It is true that every once in a while, something he inked would look really good. But, most of the time, it didn't.

I guess I am a little behind

So sorry. I'll come up with something interesting soon. I promise. Till then, here's a very interesting article about the presidential race that tells us how far we haven't come in terms of racism in this country.

Ultimate Fantastic Four isn't as good as it used to be

Here's a review I completely agree with.

Here's a couple of key points:

1. It doesn't help that artists Tyler Kirkham and Sal Regla overwhelm each panel with oppressive detail. Nothing in this issue has room to breathe, as each moment is cluttered with heavily inked detritus.

I think the art suffered from clutter as well as muddy coloring, which has plagued this book for a long time. As a Fantastic Four reader since 1978, I can honestly say that the art hasn't really suited the book for a long time.
I grew up looking at Joe Sinnott's clean lines and consistent look and the more I look at anything he inks, I am convinced that he is an absolutely superior artist. I wish the FF had been the beneficiary of an artist who could draw well and give the book a consistent sense of identity that he could.
Oddly enough, one of my favorite FF art teams in recent years was Paul Ryan and Danny Bulandi, who were unfortunately burdened with some truly awful writing by Tom deFalco. They were different than Joe Sinnott, but had a clean style in which the characters were all on model.

2. Ultimate Fantastic Four" #53 reads less like a Fantastic Four story than like a late-period Chris Claremont X-Men tale. It's overburdened with insignificant detail and lacks the human moments that would make it worth reading. For all of Mike Carey's cleverness (and there are a couple of clever twists in the plot), there's just not much of a Fantastic Four story here. The essence of the main characters remains, but their struggle feels as artificial as it looks.

Ouch. Here, the reviewer hits the nail on the head. The characters who make up the Fantastic Four have disappeared in recent issues, giving way to cosmic battles and universe-destroying villains. It's important to remember that the FF should be a character driven book, despite the science fiction type adventures that have. Carey is placing all his focus on plot to the deletion of character. I have to admit, the segment with The Thing and Thanos' daughter in the previous issue was pretty interesting, but even that gave way to action action action.

At any rate, I have read every issue of this book so far, and maybe two years ago, it was always on top of my list. Now, I am reading it more on inertia than anything else.

Just for the record, "She Hulk" is the same way. As much as admire Peter David as a writer, Dan Slott's run on the book was much more charming and fun. And, the artists since David took over as writer have been one step below awful. Shawn Moll. Bleah. Bad anatomy, poor storytelling; there's almost nothing in his work on this book to like.