Who should the Browns pick for a coach?

I can answer simply:
The only available coach with 200 career wins; 13 playoff appearances in 21 seasons as a head coach; a head coach of the year award; nine current head coaches who have worked for him at one time or another; and five previous seasons (four of them full seasons) as Cleveland Browns head coach.
Marty Schottenheimer.
The hot coach for this off season is former Steelers' coach Bill Cowher. Bill Cowher is a Schottenheimer disciple. Why go after the disciple if you can get the original?
As a fan, I am sick and tired of the team hiring coaches and general managers with little or no experience doing the jobs they'd be doing with the Browns. This describes Chris Palmer, Butch Davis, Romeo Crennel and Phil Savage. Oh, wait — silly me. I have just named almost every head coach and general manager since the team came back in 1999.
Can it be that the Cleveland Browns have not hired anyone experienced in the new job they would be doing? No general managers who have been winning general managers before? No head coaches who have been winning head coaches before?
OK, there were two. Carmen Policy and Dwight Clark came from the same positions with the San Francisco 49ers. Policy was the president and Clark was the vice president and director of football operations. That's all. Clark was gone after two years, and Policy after five.
That's right: Other than Policy and Clark, none of the people the Browns have hired since their return in 1999 have any kind of proven record of success, just a good interview and the confidence they could do the job. And, more importantly for this argument, none of the head coaches had ever been head coaches before.
Scott Pioli, who has been discussed as a possible GM, is merely another Phil Savage, who has been second banana in a winning organization. All the coaches and personnel guys from the Patriots (including Eric Mangini and Josh McDaniels who have been mentioned as possible coaches) have benefited from having Bill Belichick as their head coach. If you want to re-invent the Pats, then bring in Belichick. He has the track record. If not, leave his lackeys alone.
Other coaches being mentioned, including Kirk Ferentz, Jason Garrett, Steve Spagnuolo, Jim Schwartz and Rex Ryan, have exactly zero games — and zero wins — among them as an NFL head coach.
Why not get a coach who has won everywhere he has gone?
Why not pick a coach who has turned around three franchises and led them to the playoffs multiple times?
Why not pick the last coach who actually was able to win in Cleveland?

From Wikipedia:
Schottenheimer became Cleveland's head coach midway through the 1984 season, replacing fired head coach Sam Rutigliano. Schottenheimer would remain with the Browns until 1988, amassing 44-27 (.620) regular-season record and a 2-4 (.333) mark in the playoffs, including four playoff appearances, three AFC Central Division titles, and two trips to the AFC Championship Game.

Remember those days, when we could almost count on seeing the Browns play in January in the wind and snow at the old stadium? (For my money, Schottenheimer shouldn't have been fired by the Browns in the first place, but that's an argument for another day.)
If he were the head coach, it's almost a guarantee the team would get better in the first year. It's almost a guarantee the team would make the playoffs in the first two years.
The team would have discipline, organization and a sense of identity. The players would have a unity of purpose and play aggressively. The defense and the running game would improve immediately. That's what his teams always do.
Just like everywhere else he has gone, we know from Schottenheimer's record that he would get the Browns into the playoffs, which is a heck of a lot more than we can say about any of the other candidates.
Who cares if Schottenheimer is 5-13 in the playoffs? The Browns have not been there but twice since he left in 1988, anyway.
Here's the blueprint I'd follow: The Browns should bring in an experienced general manager who has built winning teams in the NFL (Floyd Reese and Carl Peterson are glaringly available) and let them do their jobs.
Then, they should also pick a coach who has led winning teams in the NFL and let him do his job.
For my money, that man is one of the people in sports I admire most: Schottenheimer. He knows all about how to win, and, specifically, how to win in Cleveland.
If that blueprint doesn't work, then I'd say team owner Randy Lerner should cut his losses and move the team to Schenectady — there ain't nothing gonna fix these Browns.
But, remember when the Indians were trying to rebuild in the late 1980s? What did they do? They hired longtime general manager Hank Peters, who built a winning organization in Baltimore, and veteran manager John McNamara, who took the Boston Red Sox to the World Series just four years earlier.
When they got the ship headed in the right direction, they handed things over to their planned successors, John Hart and Mike Hargrove, and the Indians won lots of games in 1990s.
It worked then, and it would work now.
I promise.
Hire Marty, Randy Lerner.
Please.
We need him back.

Mooooooose

Regardless of your politics, that stupid moose cracks me up!

Gary Burbank, another year done gone

Gary Burbank has not been off the Cincinnati airwaves for more than a year. I still miss his show. If I turn on 700 WLW and listen to Eddie Fingers and Tracy Jones, it just isn't the same.
What I wouldn't give for one more "Sports or Consequences."
Here's my blog entry from about a year ago when Gary signed off for the final time, if you'd like to go re-read it.

Dexter the Credit Debt Badger

Here's another classic Christmas character, crated, of course, by our pals Paul and Storm. Meet Dexter the Credit Debt Badger.
I was a little late in posting this a few days after Christmas, but consider it either an early warning for next year, or a late I-told-you-so for this year.

Mike Kunkel and the magic of SHAZAM!

Mike Kunkel may be one of the greatest creators working in comics today. I say this after reading the first few issues of "Billy Batson and the Magic of SHAZAM." The third issue came out this week, and here I have found a preview of a few pages from it.
Kunkel's writing is clever, funny and easy to read. (Granted, "Billy Batson" is a comic aimed at a young market, but it is easily read and enjoyed by adults.) Doing both writing and art, he combines them seamlessly, and even has found some unique ways to move the story along.
His art is expressive, and with it he manipulates time and pacing interestingly. Take a look at the preview page three, panel ... uhhh, depends on how you count ... well, the second tier from the bottom. There's technically only one panel, but to show movement and time elapsing, there's three figures of Captain Marvel and two of Mary Marvel. Kunkel shows in one panel what other writer/artists may take three. The other key point is that it's very clear what you are supposed to see and read first and second and so on. That's good storytelling.
Enjoy the preview. You may find some other interesting things in there I didn't.

Serial cereal blogging

I could not resist linking to this: 100 old cereal box covers.
How many do you remember?

(P.S. The image to the side is only a small sample to get you started. Click on the link in the text to see the whole thing.)

Moose and Zee for me (and you, too)

Children's programming can be entertaining for adults, too. I have had this song from the Noggin network in my head all day. Perhaps now you will, too. Misery loves company. Or something like that, anyway.

There's too many Mistercellaneouses out there

Get a load of all these. Maybe I should change the name of this blog to something more unique. Perhaps "kdhfksdjgh." Do a Google search for that!

He'll pay the fine after the Christmas rush

Santa gets parking ticket while delivering toys

So, what's ol' Roger Stern up to these days?

Why, he's writing "Amazing Spider-Man." It's almost enough to get me to buy the comic again. I swore it off after the "Brand New Day" storyline, but if Roger Stern is on board, maybe I should re-think that.
Here's what Stern had to say about it:
“I'm happy to say that feeling isn't there any more. I haven't missed an issue of ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ since the Brand New Day storyline began. For my money, Pete, Spider-Man, and the whole cast are finally acting like themselves again.”
Other than Stan Lee, I think Stern may well be the best writer Spider-Man has ever had. His stories from the 1980s with artist John Romita Jr. remain the standard by which I judge all Spider-Man comics today. When a writer of his accomplishments says "Brand New Day" is OK, it makes me think I ought to re-evaluate my own thinking.
Plus, he helped me win "Comic Book Squares" at the Mid-Ohio Con a few years ago. That ought to count for something.

Dear DC: Why do I care?

Posted to Comicbookresources.com

And while Egghead made a cameo appearance way back in 1992 in “Shadow of the Bat” #2-3, King Tut – who was the main villain on “Batman” five times, more than any other villain created specifically for the show -- has never appeared in comics. But that all changes on February 11, 2009 when the regal rogue makes his DC Comics debut in “Batman Confidential” #26.

Have we reached a point in comics that we have to reach back to a 1960s TV show for inspiration? I suppose this is a small symptom of the problem that caused me to stop reading almost all Batman comics.

That said, it's gonna have be-yew-tiful art:

Written by the dynamic duo of Christina Weir and Nunzio DeFilippis, the issue featues artwork by industry legends Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Kevin Nowlan, and kicks off a three-part arc telling the tale of King Tut’s first visit to Gotham.

Paul and Storm keep playing Randy Newman

Here's the site where Paul and Storm are making up Randy Newman theme songs for movies that didn't have them. If you do not laugh, you are ... well, I don't know what you are, because you should.

Serial Cereal blogging

They don't seem to sell Coco Wheats in Virginia. I wonder why?
I may have to use "Cream of Wheat" and "Hershey's" chocolate sauce.

Stan and Sergio went to Madrid

The Usagi Yojimbo portion of the Dark Horse Comics Web site has posted this picture of the wonderfully talented Stan Sakai and the legendary Sergio Aragones from 2006. (For some reason, it won't post right so I can embed it to this blog.)
And, here's a preview of Usagi #116, for those of you who like previews.

She Hulk: Gone, gone gone again

Well, here we go again. For the fourth time a monthly She Hulk comic has been cancelled.
From Marvel Comics release about the last issue of the current series:
She's been savage. She's been sensational. She's been an avenger. She's been a lawyer. She's been a bounty-hunter. But there's one thing She-Hulk has always been, in all of her many series... cancelled. But it hasn't stopped her yet! In this oversized final issue, Peter David brings his run on the Jade Giantess to a close... but can Jen use her last remaining pages to save her friends from a truly mammoth threat? Catch her now, before someone turns her red!
The sad truth is that since Dan Slott left the book a couple years ago, Peter David has written some pretty crappy stories. He tried to take She Hulk from being a fun character to something almost grim and gritty. I haven't enjoyed it.
David is great writer, but his take on She Hulk was just uninteresting.
He jumped the story from where Slott left off to something completely different. Eventually, he wound his way back to tell us what happened, but by then it had been so long I didn't really care.
In addition, "She Hulk" also has been plagued by having truly awful artists since Rick Burchett left at the same time Slott did.
Maybe She Hulk will return someday for another series.
I am still hoping for an entire issue of She Hulk drawn by Frank Cho. Maybe I'll never see it.

Where has XTC gone?

Ahhhh, XTC.
Perhaps my favorite band really has forever gone the way of the dodo. That said, they did still produce some wonderful moments in pop music, and college music as well.
Here's an ember of the first XTC video I ever saw. I was 17 and a senior in high school.
I was amazed at how profound the lyrics were, especially compared to much of the top 40's vapid offerings.
I think I read a church bulletin once saying the Catholic Church encouraged people not to buy any of XTCs albums after this song and accompanying video came out, seeing as how it's about the denial of organized religion.
Naturally, I ignored that and bought all of them.
Regardless of what a person believes, I think the song holds up well as being very intelligent. I don't think you have to agree with the singer to appreciate the skill with which he has crafted this song.
There's irony in lyrics that deny God's existence while all the while having a conversation with Him. I think it expresses the frustration of human problems more than it actually endorses atheism.
(Cue Casey Kasem.)Here's XTC's "Dear God."

Braver and Bolder?

A new Cartoon Network Batman show is to premier Nov. 14.
From comicbookresources.com:
Eschewing the ultra-gritty themes of “The Dark Knight” for a more kid-friendly take on the caped crusader, “Batman: The Brave & The Bold” debuts on Cartoon Network on November 14 at 8:00 pm EST/PST and teams Batman with a laundry list of fan favorite and cult characters from DC Comics’ pantheon, including Plastic Man and Metamorpho.
The art looks pretty interesting. I guess we'll have to watch and see.
Oh, and here's a video preview, too:

Ambush Bug #4 came out last week, but ...

Here's a review. The series so far hasn't affected me the way the original 1980s series did, but it's still good to have the Bug back.

"Blue Monday" returns

Here's another story about a very worthy comics series, indeed.
Chynna Clugston has returned with a new Oni Press series about her 1980's high schoolers.
I have always enjoyed "Blue Monday" whenever it pops up, and I'd recommend all the trade paperbacks.

"Butt Bandit" didn't mean exactly what I was thinking

Interesting.

Mike and Mike on Monday nights?

I was going to write a longer post about this, but I realized I'd just have be filling space with a bunch of minor and uninteresting supporting points. So, here's the unvarnished statement:
I would watch Monday Night Football every week, whereas I currently do not, if Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic were the announcers.
I listen to them on their ESPN Radio show, "Mike and Mike in the Morning," and they are the absolutely perfect blend of sports, personality and entertainment that MNF has lacked — maybe since Howard Cosell.
They have been the broadcasters for some secondary MNF games on Monday nights the last couple years with Mike Ditka. But, they had the west coast games that aren't on TV here until 11 p.m. or so.
So, ESPN, if you are listening put Mike and Mike (and maybe even Mike) on Monday Night Football and your Nielsen ratings will increase by one. Namely, me.

Is the mall dead?

Newsweek says it may not be dead, but it's definitely not looking really good.

ABJ writer talks about Score

Longtime Indians beat writer Sheldon Ocker (who is one of the best sports writers in Ohio or anywhere else, if you ask me) writes about Herb Score here.
From the column:
During a game at the Metrodome in the early '80s, a manager called time and began jawing with an umpire. I was sitting next to Terry Pluto, then the beat writer for the Plain Dealer.
Neither of us could figure out what was going on, so we headed for the broadcast booth to ask Score. While we waited for a commercial break, Pluto lost the handle on a paper cup, and Score suddenly was bathed in hot chocolate.
He stopped his description of the game and told the radio audience, ''Terry Pluto of the Plain Dealer came into the booth. I do not know why he is here, but he just spilled hot chocolate on my pants, on my shirt, on my tie, on my shoes, on my scorebook. Hot chocolate is everywhere. ... And there's a fastball for ball 2.''

Some more Herb Score video

This is about four minutes long.

Here's some audio from various times of Score's broadcasting career. There's a few other clips of people talking about him, too.

More about Herb Score

Here's a reprint of a 1957 story about the line drive that struck him in the face, ending his days as one of the most dominant pitchers ever.

A (video) look back at Herb Score's career

This is from MLB.com.
It's less than a minute and a half long, but says a lot.
I never saw video of him pitching, but this piece shows what his throwing motion looked like. There's no video or audio of him as a broadcaster, however.

Herb Score dies at 75

I'd love to write a really long essay about Herb Score dying. I grew up listening to him broadcast Cleveland Indians baseball games. Even today, when I hear recordings of him calling a game I either get chills or I get a little misty eyed. I also am sad that I never got a chance to see him play.
I do, however, have a baseball autographed by Score. I got it during an auction at one of the Indians winter press tours a few years ago. I won the auction for the ball with a bid of $45, which ultimately went to support Fostoria Junior Baseball. I suppose that's rather suitable. I'd like to think he'd have approved. I wish I had been there when he signed it, but nonetheless, I am very happy to have something he signed.
But, no matter what I write here, and no matter how long it was, it would really boil down to one thing: I was sad when he retired as a broadcaster and I am even sadder today. It makes me very sad to know that one of my heroes, and a man who brought so much enjoyment into my life, is no longer with us.

Interested in swearing?

He is, too.

(I thought I'd go for a trifecta: groins, nudity and now swearing. How about that?)

Oh, and she draws comic books, too

I don't have much to say here, but I really think Tara McPherson is an incredible artist. I have seen her work in a few different comics, to include "Fables," and I am always instantly captivated.
That's really all I have to say. Just enjoy the pretty pics I have linked to.
(By the way, Dark Horse Comics is releasing a new book of her art. Take a look here.)

Trauma to the Groin

Here's a little YouTube video of a funny Haywood Banks song. He was all over Ohio and Kentucky this fall. Too bad I moved to Virginia.

Is anyone surprised?

Are ya?

A DNAgents video

http://view.break.com/597455 - Watch more free videos
Mark Evanier and Will Meugniot created the DNAgents 25 years ago. Here's a video by Meugniot about the comic book.
For those of you who have trouble downloading videos, and I know who you are, here's a link to a trade paperback collection.

Paul and Storm provide us a Halowe'en theme

Here's "Lame Monster Party." Enjoy!

Heeeeeere's Harlan!

Here are two parts (one, two) of an interview with noted SF writer Harlan Ellison from comicbookresources.com.
Interviews with Harlan Ellison are always interesting.

Indians pondering trade?

Good news! That Indians are considering trading for another mediocre hitter!
He'll fit right in with Franklin Gutierrez, Ben Francisco, Ryan Garko, Josh Barfield, David Delucci and about a dozen other guys they have acquired in recent years.
I bet if they complete the trade, the Indians' brass tells us what a great guy he is in the clubhouse. Just once, I'd love to hear Mark Shapiro say, "We know this guy we acquired is a real jerk. Everyone on the team is sure to hate him. But, boy can he hit!

Some people take mindless cyber drivel too seriously

Hall hath no fury like a woman scorned -- even online!

Thumbs up, thumb down

Needless to say, this guy didn't hitchhike from the crime scene.

(That may be the cleverest blog entry title I have yet written, if I do say so myself.)

There's tolls and there's tolls

I wonder how often this actually happens?

Eating cheaper may cost more

This story tells us that restaurants are having trouble getting customers to come out and eat.
This story tells us that restaurants may have to raise their prices because wholesale food prices are rising.
So, taken in combination, what do these articles tell us? If you have a favorite restaurant, go eat there soon. It may not be there long.
Here's the formula, for those of you who are arithmetically inclined: Higher prices+fewer customers=even fewer customers=even higher prices=yet fewer customers=a going out of business sale on used kitchen supplies.
Or, these stories may indicate we may have to get used to paying more for some menu items, especially things with beef in them, while other items are offered to entice us to buy the beef.
This is kind of an interesting companion to the above stories. It offers another option.
The story tells us that the owners of Bennigan's restaurant chain, in trying to emerge from bankruptcy, are returning to emphasizing appetizers and drinks, which they did years ago.
This may be a model for some restaurants in the next few years. Here are the key paragraphs:

Holsinger said Bennigan's was one of the most dominant casual dining brands in the early 1990s with 30 to 40 percent of its business coming from beer, wine and liquor sales. Those products typically sell for significantly more than they cost, helping a company boost its margins. Bennigan's was also well known for its appetizers and sandwiches.
But as the decade came to a close, that dominance eroded. The chain, he said, racked up large amounts of debt by expanding too quickly and tarnished its bar and grill image by adding pricier, lower-quality entrees to its menu to compete with other sit-down chains.

To sum up: the answer to the restaurant industry's conundrum may be really simple — beer. Either sell it to restore your profit margin or, if your eatery goes out of business, use it to drink yourself into a stupor.

Serial cereal blogging

Today, I had Coco Wheats for breakfast.
Then I went to work.
There was a good-bye breakfast at a restaurant for one of the folks with whom I work.
I was sent to take some pictures of the event.
When I got there, the folks all said, "You are staying for breakfast, right?"
So, naturally, I ordered two eggs, hash browns, bacon, toast and orange juice.
Then, I took the pictures.
Everyone was happy and I skipped lunch.
The end.

WAKY is online!

Now you (Yes you!) can listen to Louisville's greatest radio station, WAKY.
Well, it's actually kind of "Son of WAKY," because the original 79WAKY was on the AM dial and was a rock station back in the 1970s. Acording to the Web site to which I just linked, "for over 20 years, WAKY (790 AM) in Louisville, Kentucky was one of the most influential and highly-respected secondary market Top 40 stations in America."
They had some great personalities on the air, including our old friend Gary Burbank. Here are some of Garish's air checks from back in the days before he was on 700 WLW.
Now, some of the same DJs (not Burbank, sorry) play the same songs as they did then. Of course, neither the DJs nor the songs are getting any younger, so the new WAKY 103.5 is called an "oldies" station.
During two years on Louisville, I became a huge fan of the new WAKY. It still feels like an radio station should, with little sound effects and lots of funny jingles for stations IDs. One of my biggest regrets about having to move to Virginia is losing this wonderful station.
(My favorite WAKY jingle is the one that goes, "The fastest thing in the air ... WAKY.")
About two weeks ago, before they started streaming, I missed WAKY so much, I sent the station and e-mail through their Web site. I asked if they were going to be offering a web cast.
I received this response:
"We are working on going live, hopefully in the next few weeks. Please be patient and keep checking back for our “Listen Live” button."
True to their word, I check this evening and there it was. Now, 11 hours away and far, far out of the range of the WAKY transmitters in Elizabethtown, Ky., I can still listen in. And so can you.
So go listen in already!

If Colin Powell jumped off a bridge ...

(Not to beat a dead horse on this subject, but it's interesting.)

... lots of people would follow him all the way down.
Here's an article about why Powell's endorsement of Obama may be a really big deal and who might plunge off the proverbial bridge.
I guess we'll find out what happens in the exit polls.

Just in time for Halloween

On Oct. 29, the first issue of this series, "Legion of the Supernatural," is supposed to hit comic book stores. Seems like perfect timing, just two days before Halloween.
In case you don't want to click on that link, here's a few key sentences from Newsarama.com:

The upcoming series Legion of the Supernatural from IDW finds writer Rick Remender and artist Bret Blevins taking a motley assortment of monsters and putting them into a more heroic spotlight as they emerge as the last line of defense against an invading army of "starving inter-dimensional vampires". That's right, "starving inter-dimensional vampires" – Rick told us that himself.

Brat Blevins is a fantastic artist, and I am going to be there for the first issue. After that, I have no idea.
Blevins is heavily involved in the creation of the how-to magazine called "Draw!" He has contributed a lot of really interesting articles on figure drawing, among other things. Knowing a little bit about the way he works and thinks, I'm hoping I'll appreciate the new comic.
I don't know the first thing about the series' writer.
As a side-note, if you go look at the site for the comics company IDW Publishing, which is publishing "Legion of the Supernatural," you'll see the company has some of comics top talents. This includes John Byrne and Peter David. They making some top flight comics.
Byrne is getting to play in the Star Trek universe, and David's creator-owned "Fallen Angel" series is about to be joined by a comic version of the hero of his novels, Sir Apropos of Nothing, in a new series.
They also published a detective comic book, "Dead She Said," drawn by Bernie Wrightson and a pair of biographies about the presidential candidates John McCain and Barack Obama.
IDW is relatively new to the comics publishing scene, but it the company seems to have a lot of creative energy. At least, they are keeping me interested in what they are publishing.
(Boy, was that post link heavy. I guess it will give you lots of things to look at if you are reading this because you are bored.)

Wow.

This really surprised me.
After reading the article, I can't disagree with anything Colin Powell said.

When Quinn the Eskimo gets here, is everybody gonna jump for joy?

Is it finally time for the Browns to give up on Derek Anderson?
I have watched the entirety of the Browns' games against Cincinnati, New York and Washington D.C.
For almost all of the Cincinnati game and almost all of the Washington D.C. game, Anderson looked like a college quarterback playing in his first pro game wearing a blindfold.
Somehow, the the fourth quarters of both of those games, he stepped up and looked assertive and accurate.
For quite a while, I have been on the Anderson bandwagon, unlike many other Browns fans, mostly because they went 10-5 last year with him as the starting quarterback. No other Browns quarterback has been that good for a long time.
Until now, I have ignored the Cincinnati game in December where Anderson's inaccurate passing probably cost the Browns a chance for a win. But the past few games make me wonder if that was more than a one-game aberration.
Is he just really streaky? Is he inaccurate? Do his receivers run bad routes? Is the playbook too confusing?
Not being a football expert, I have no clue if there is something the coaching staff can correct with Anderson or the rest of the offense to make him play like he did last year.
The team around him seems poised for success. The Browns finally have a good offensive line that gives him lots of time to throw. They have a strong running game with Jamal Lewis and several other running backs who seem to get the job done week in and week out. The defense keeps getting better and better.
In any case, I'd hate to give up a quarterback with a big arm who won big the previous year. Most other years, 10-6 would have put the Browns in the playoffs.
But I am beginning to wonder if the Browns can afford to give Anderson much more time to figure himself out.
With the team at 2-4, it may be too late already.

(On another note: I would never have tried a 54 yard field goal at the end of the game like Romeo Crennel decided. Phil Dawson's longest ever kick was 52. Anderson had gotten a little hot in the fourth quarter, and if not for Braylon Edwards' mis-reads and dropsies, the Browns may have been much closer to the goal line anyway. I'd have tried another throw on 4th and 10 — to anybody but Edwards. It was at least as good a gamble as a 54 yard field goal and kept open the potential for a win and not just a tie.)

What time is it, you ask?

Here is the definitive answer. Anything else is, well, untimely.
Set your watches and clocks to this, and you may still be late, but you'll know exactly how late.

I really miss comics by ...

Daniel Clowes.
(First in a series of however many I come up with.)

I got hooked on "Ghost World" in "Eightball" way before it ever became a movie. Somehow, Clowes' strangely eerie warped kinda 1950's art style sucked me in, but his storytelling that depicted personal isolation, depression and a strange detachment of the characters to the in which they lived was compelling.
"Ghost World," and "David Boring" were the most perfect examples of stories that were, on the surface, strange sort of stream-of-consciousness tales about people moving through a world over which they seemed to have to no control and living with a fair amount of frustration.
Below the surface, however, they were even more dreamlike and mysterious, with characters whose names spelled strange anagrams.
Harlan Ellison often quotes a saying which goes something like, "Establish enigmas, not answers." I think this is the strength of Clowes' work, for me anyway.
I read these things thinking, what are these people doing and why are they doing it? In some of his best works, I never really figure it out.
At any rate, since about the time "Ghost World" was made into a movie, it seems like Clowes has moved away from comics. He did, however, recently draw a cover for the "New Yorker" magazine, which fit in well with his usual themes.
The front page is above, and the second page shows the man having tea with the robot he has just built.
If I were to interpret the cover, from my lens of Clowes is all about detachment from people and real world around you, I'd say the idea is the man has no one to spend time with so he has to build a robot just to be able to enjoy his tea. He can only take solace in the companionship of a being created from his imagination that isn't even human.
Anyway, two pages in a national magazine is nice, but I'd sure love to see a 24th issue of "Eightball."

Abe Vigoda is ...

Yep. He's still alive.

I wonder if Abe Vigoda went over the rainbow to see Dorothy and Toto if the owners of the site will still maintain that he is alive. Given his amusement over the mis-reporting of his death, Abe might find that funny, too.

Vanity plates I have seen

The best one lately was a small car that was driving really fast past me on I-64. The plate read, "DAAAAANG."

A new DHP

Just in time for Haloween ... issue 15. The most notable story in here, if you only read one, appears to be "The Stain."

Mainstream this!

Every time I hear someone on TV use the phrase "mainstream media," I get the feeling what they really mean is, "Someone on another network who doesn't agree with me."
Next time you hear someone say "mainstream media," substitute my phrase and see if it adds any further context to what the person is saying.

I should provide some context: It also seems to me that people who complain about the "mainstream media" are using an outdated concept. Today, you can find news, or news-like programming, from about any perspective. As a result, the "mainstream" doesn't exist like it did 20 or 30 years ago.
Yet, with all this information out there, there are plenty of people who try to build up their credibility by saying they are telling you something that they say everyone else is ignoring.
Odds are, they aren't. They are just emphasizing something that agrees with their particular way of thinking.

Finally, the blackout Wendy's story

(OK, I know this is really late. But, a good story like this is timeless. Besides, with the power off for five days right after this happened, then the move and week without the Internet at our new house and then five more days in Washington DC, I can only blog so much. The picture is Izzy looking out the front door during the blackout week.)

The power kicked off somewhere around 11:30 a.m. Sunday, Sept. 14.
The wind was howling, but there were no tornadoes or lightning strikes to make me think something really bad was happening.
Apparently, Louisville wasn’t prepared for 80 mile per hour winds, either.
With no power, there was no TV and no Internet. The one radio that had batteries was working, but it was Sunday afternoon so many of the stations were on auto pilot and didn’t carry live news.
As a result, I had no idea how serious it really was until later.
By calling the power company on my cell phone, I learned that a steadily climbing number of people had lost electricity.
Hallie, Izzy and I had to eat at supper time and, with no power decided to go to a restaurant. Unfortunately, everyone else in Kentuckiana decided to do the same thing.
We passed Culver’s, which was full but had power. We passed lots of empty places that were empty and dark. We passed a Wendy’s that was full of people and cars and decided to keep going.
My bright idea was to go across the river to Indiana, thinking that they were on a different power grid, and maybe weren’t hit so hard.
I was wrong. Everything was out along I-65.
All we could find was a packed Wendy’s along Lewis and Clark Parkway in Clarksville.
We pulled into the parking lot, which was full. We decided to avoid the also-full drive through lanes. They were packed with cars out of the parking lot and into the access road.
Hallie parked, and I ran inside. What I saw was something I had never seen before.
The line stretched through the little maze of handrails and back toward Wendy’s front windows. It actually curled a little, turning back toward the main enterance, which is where I got in line.
As I recall, it was about 5:50 p.m. or so when I got in line. Seeing how long it was, I almost didn’t, but I figured no place else would have a shorter line and by the time we left to find someplace else, I might as well have waited in line. I almost went back out to the car to tell Hallie how long the line was, but I decided against it when a few people cane in behind me. With a line this long, I didn’t want to fall even a few people behind.
Needless to say, I was hungry and cranky and I didn’t want to stand in close quarters with a bunch of people. But, there was no other choice, so I waited.
There are only so many ways to amuse one’s self while standing in a line like that. I decided to observe the people around me.
There was one family sitting at a table and eating their supper. I imagined that with a line like that, they probably felt really conspicuous and maybe a little guilty as the people waiting slowly moved past them. I watched as the couple’s daughter picked all the cheese off her cheeseburger and refused the rest. Normally, it wouldn’t make an impression, but I almost asked to take the remaining sandwich off her hands and eat it. It seemed like not eating available food in a crisis like that (It may not have been a crisis, but it seemed rather urgent anyway.) should be punished. Then I realized I should just relax about it. I was overly cranky from being hungry, excited and trapped in along like with a bunch of people, this was a five-year-old and the power would probably come back soon, anyway.
I continued to stand in line watching the clock tick. It was now after 6 p.m. I guesstimated I’d probably be out of the line by 6:15 p.m. or so.
Human nature is certainly interesting. An old woman got her tray and walked past me with it. She had waited in the Godawful line for who knows how long at that point. What did she order? Not a bunch of food. Not anything that seemed like comfort food. Not even anything filling. She carried on her tray a baked potato and a small Frosty.
All I could think of was, “She waited all that time for that?” I also thought she could have gotten the heck out of the way so someone else who really wanted food could eat.
I continued to watch as people came in and out. By this time, I was about halfway through the line, but not up to the handrail maze yet.
An old man, helped by a woman who looked like maybe she was his daughter, got another strange order. He ordered a plain hamburger and a cup of water. Now why on earth did he wait that long for that? And, take up a valuable position in line that I could have been using? He could have had peanut butter and jelly at home, for crying out loud. The power had only been off a few hours. The jelly couldn’t have gone bad yet.
There was one person behind the counter who was talking to the customer waiting in line. She was a somewhat middle-aged woman who was running around doing her best to keep everything moving. It was slow going anyway, but she was certainly working hard.
Every so often, she would holler to the patrons thanking them for waiting and promising to take their orders as soon as possible.
As I got closer to those precious handrails, people began moving past me to get to the bathroom. Back and forth they were walking, and I had to make a hole for them to get through. I started wondering how many of them washed their hands for one; and for two how many of them were sick and because I was confined in here at close range with this many people, would they get me sick, too?
The line kept moving a little faster. By now, it was 6:15 p.m. or thereabout. A man was talking to the couple behind me, saying how the people at this Wendy’s hated him because he always had problems with his order, and by golly he always let them know about it. He started bringing the food back when it was wrong, even if he had to drive all the way back from home to do it. The manager knew him and didn’t like him, he bragged.
I started to internally roll my eyes when he said he intended to stand there after he got his six hamburgers and check every one to make sure they were right. If they weren’t, line or no line, he’d make them give him new ones that were right.
Obviously, I didn’t think too highly of him at that point.
He got up to order shortly thereafter, and I saw why he always got his orders wrong.
First, he placed his order in a rambling, stammering start and stop fashion that was almost incoherent. I had no idea what he wanted on which hamburgers when he was done. Then, the clerk, who I think was the assistant manager, repeated the order back. No, that wasn’t right. The customer went through the whole thing again, contradicting what he said before and what the manager read back to him.
If I hadn’t been in a long line for almost a half-hour, the whole thing would have been funny.
So, they seemed to get everything straightened out, but I didn’t think they had agreed on the order so much as agreed to stop discussing it until the burgers came out.
So, it took a little while for his six hamburgers to come out. When they did, there was some confusion behind the counter as to what went where. I saw this as a bad sign.
They got everything straight and handed him the bag. As promised, he took them out of the bag one by one and laid them in two piles on top of the handrail.
By the end, five of them were right (Hooray! The over-under was four.) but one had the wrong combination of condiments.
He paused, and looked back to the counter for a long while. It was pregnant pause, because I think some of the folks in line would have been happy to give him a makeshift cesarean section right there in line if he followed through on his promise.
He turned to his friends in line and smiled and said, “Well, they got one wrong, like I knew they would. But, I won’t hold up the whole line to get it fixed.”
I think he just wanted someone to know the Clarksville Wendy’s had screwed him over again, but he was such a big, magnanimous person he would suffer so the line would keep moving.
Good choice.
Finally, I was up to order. It was about 6:20 p.m. I ordered for Hallie and me and moved back out of the way to wait for my food.
While I was waiting, a teenager who had been eating in the restaurant came up to the front of the line and asked for refills on his pop. Now, ordinarily, this would be no big deal. But it seemed to me that if he had any common courtesy he’d just shut up and eat his ice and get a damn drink when he got home. He looked kind of sheepish about it, like he realized at that moment he was about a popular as a nerd at a homecoming dance.
The Wendy’s staff handled it very well. They refilled his drinks quickly. When he left the line, the problem was solved and quickly forgotten.
I got my food and took what they gave me. It could have been a rat burger and deep fried cat litter and I probably wouldn’t have noticed.
When I got back out to the car, it was 6:25 p.m. Thirty-five minutes in line at a Wendy’s. One the way to the car, I realized that Hallie had to play with Izzy in the car for 35 minutes while I was in line. I wondered if they both would be ready to kill when I got out there, but everyone was happy to have food. Hallie fed Izzy while I was waiting in line.
Then, we proceeded to spend the five days in the dark.
It was Friday afternoon that power came back on. All I can say is thank God for gas water heaters. For five days, showers were our best luxury.

Invisible Hands ... the end

Invisible Hands Part 5

And tomorrow, part 6 ...

Inivisible Hands Part 4

Invisible Hands Part 3

Inivisible Hands Part 2

"Invisible Hands" Part one

Richard Sala is one of my favorite cartoonists. I had no idea, but he did an animated feature for "Liquid Television" on MTV (Remember that show? Yes, it was that long ago!) called "Invisible Hands." Here is part one! The total show is 12 minutes long.

Since this aired, he has refined his style a little bit, but he still moves around the horror, monster, mystery and pulp genres with a cleverness that is unmatched. Everything new I find by him, I buy, no questions asked. His art has gotten a little more clean and simple, which is a good thing. If you do an Amazon search, you'll find quite a few goodies.

Here's his Web site. Is there anything cooler than the front page?

On, yeah. Here's the cartoon. I am going to post all six parts, one a day.

(By the way, I didn't forget about the 35 minute Wendy's story from my week without electricity. I am still finishing the story. It should keep. It's not terribly time sensitive, especially since I couldn't post it the day it happened.)

They didn't save the Fortress of Solitude, but ...

.. fans did raise $100,000 to fix the home in Cincinnati in which Superman was created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster. Here's the story.

Earliest reference describes Christ as 'magician'

Is this the first century equivalent of a coffee mug that says "I (heart) Jesus?"

This is a very interesting story, nonetheless.

Here's a sort of companion piece addressing if Jesus walked on water or ice.

Some words from Ray Bradbury

Here's a really nice story about Ray Bradbury's appearance at the Baltimore comic convention. i wish I had been there.

The best Hellboy comic in a long time

The third issue of "The Crooked Man" came out this week. This series was the creepiest and best Hellboy series in forever. And this is coming from the fellow who last year said the Hellboy family of comics was the best being published.

DHP online

I think we missed this issue when it came out. I didn't even look at it yet, so I have no idea what's any good.

There is a print volume of all the best stuff from the earlier issues. I didn't buy it yet, but I probably will.

Done been gone

Yes, I have, indeed.

In the last two weeks, I have experienced a major power outage that affected about 300,000 people in Louisville and lasted at my house for five days. The power went out so suddenyl Sunday afternoon, I didn't even have time to pre-blog things while I was gone. During this time, movers shipped me and the rest of the family away to Newport News, Va.

Of course, it took nearly a week to get the house unpacked enough to set up the computer and then get the cable folks out here to install the stuff that brings the wonderful Internet to me and allows me to bring all this mediocre claptrap to you.

There are a number of interesting stories related to all this stuff, but the greatest lesson I learned from living in a house without power for five days is: Gas water heaters work when the power goes out; Internet telephones don't.

A brief sub-lesson is this: libraries are great places to use the Internet in a pinch.

I have a story to post shortly about standing in line at Wendy's for 35 minutes. human nature is amazing.

An odd cartoon

But, one that I didn't really appreciate when I was younger the way I do now.

Petting my pet peeves (Part one of an undetermined number)

I really, really hate seeing someone use "alot." I saw this in a headline on a story in a Fostoria, Ohio daily newspaper's Web site. It's not one word; it's two, as in,
"I have a lot of ridges on the surface of my brain, but I am not using them when I type."
From "Englishplus.com:"

A Lot or Allot?
A lot (two words) is an informal phrase meaning "many." It can take an adjective, for example, "a sizeable lot."
Example: Karl needed a lot of time for the job.
Allot means "to distribute between or among." It has the same root as lottery.
Example: He allotted three breaks a day to everyone in the department.
Alot does not exist as a word. (Bold text is mine.)

If you ever see it here, it's a typo. Point it out, and I'll fix it in bold. And italic. And, I'll change the font color to whatever you request.
Affiant further sayeth not.

What Not To Wear: Blog Edition

I gave the Blog a face lift. What do you think?

And, I know, I need to post some more long-form essays or columns to keep this from becoming a page that should be called, "Look At All These Cool Links I Found When I Was Bored At Work!"
I promise to do that. In fact, I have a pet peeves entry coming up very soon.

Paul and Storm song-fuing again

Here's a link that will take you to the latest "Masters of Song Fu" challenge in which our intrepid heroes Paul and Storm are competing. You have to scroll down to see what they will have to do next. It promises to be amusing.
Voting begins tomorrow, so vote early and vote often.

To tide you over, here's a link to the other song they wrote for round two.

If you need something for your computer desktop ...

... here's one from Dark Horse Comics. You'll see a few familiar characters there, like Usagi Yojimbo, Groo, Hellboy, Grendel, Concrete and many others. This is what is currently adorning my desktop.
In fact, if you go to this link at Dark Horse Comics' Web site, you'll find all sorts of wonderful artwork you can add to your desktop. There's a lot of really nice Conan drawings there as well as lots of others, including the characters mentioned above.
(Could this read any more like an advertisement?)

Scientific advancement or certain doom?

This is an interesting story about scientists arguing about ... oh heck, just go see.
The story reads, "Will the Large Hadron Collider save the world, or destroy it?" Sounds like something out of a science fiction novel, but it's real.
And, if it gets used, there may be a black hole coming to a neighborhood near you!

Ancient Corbin secret, huh?

Here's a story about the original, handwritten recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken. (For those of you who don't get the headline, the first KFC was in Corbin, Ky.)

Nine years, but not nine lives

Here's a lost cat story:
LONDON - A British couple have been reunited with their missing cat after nine years, the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA) said on Wednesday.

I knew it!

This story tells us that a study has linked investor speculation to the rising price of oil earlier this year. Whodathunkit?

More "Amazing" art

Coming out tomorrow, a new issue of "Amazing Spider-Man" with a truly awesome cover that I am not going to buy.

After my computer crash ...

By now, both of you reading this site have probably noticed the light posting.
All I can say is: If I were you, I'd think twice about installing Windows XP Service Pack 3 no matter what your computer tells you. I, of course, listened to my computer and did what it said. Three times. And guess what happened?
SP 3 crashed my computer three times. Usually, when Windows tells you to do something, you should do it. I subscribe to this theory because I know about as much about how computers actually work as I do about, say, plumbing. Therefore, I figure that whatever the system says is best probably is.
I did a little research on the Internet, and it seems I am not the only one who had trouble with SP 3. You can examine the Google search here.
On top of that, when I did get everything fixed, the updates to SP 2 wouldn't install, so I had a list of things called "priority updates," and "security updates" that I could see and download, but when I tired to install them, the computer said something like "A problem with your computer prevented these updates from installing." Nothing specific, no link to follow for help, there was only that message. Here's an article that tells about what is happening and how it may be fixed. Nothing worked for me, though.
What did I do? After the third SP 3 crash, I let Windows do it own thing, without going to the Windows updater Web site. So far, it has done pretty well, finding and installing some of the updates that were listed in my previous tries. There were something like 84 updates, and so far Windows has found and installed maybe half of those.
Far be it from me to say bad things about Windows and Microsoft, seeing as how I have used them both for far longer than I care to admit. However, this little episode has made me think seriously about getting a Macintosh for my next computer. Fewer virus problems, fewer problems in general, or so I understand.
Technology is wonderful, but only when it works.

I don't get the math, but apparently, it works

Mark Evanier has been talking about this on his blog here and here. No matter how many times I read it, it just doesn't make sense. Then again, I am arithmetically impaired.
It involves Monty Hall, three doors, two goats and a car. Somehow, if you pick door number one and get a goat, switching your original pick for the second door opening doubles your odds of winning.
I wonder if anything like that would work on "Deal or No Deal?"

Gilbert G-N-A-R-L-E-Y

Gilbert Gnarley glues his nose shut.

The Spirit movie poster

I can hardly wait ...

The Spirit on screen

Here's the trailer for the new movie "The Spirit," based on Will Eisner's classic detective comic book. It's directed by Frank Miller, and has he ever let us down?

How good is our justice system?

Here is an interesting column written by an attorney who says ... oh heck, here's the first paragraph:

No fatal mistakes
By Joseph D. Tydings
As a lawyer and former U.S. attorney, I have both prosecuted and defended death penalty cases. As a member of the Maryland House of Delegates and as a U.S. senator, I have studied and dealt with this issue for more than 40 years. While I have never been philosophically opposed to the death penalty, and have supported it in special cases, I now have deep concerns about the failures in our criminal justice system in capital cases.

Go vote for Paul and Storm

Masters of Song Fu 2 continues. Read about it here. You have until 11L59 p.m. tonight.

And, go listen to the song. It's funny.

It's too bad I won't read "Amazing Spider-Man" any more

After the latest "event" storyline that essentially changed the last, say, 20 years of the Spider-Man comics, i just can't bring myself to buy any new issues.
If, however, i was, I'd really be enjoying the wonderful art by John Romita Jr. and Klaus Janson.

Two things for the Cleveland Indians to do (not that they listen to me, but ...)

I suppose I am not the only one with an opinion about what the Cleveland Indians should so for next season, but here are my two most major thoughts:

1. Victor Martinez should move to first base. The Indians have no one better than he is at first. Moving there from catcher also will save wear and tear on his body. Based on the way he hit this year, I think we can conclude that Ryan Garko is not an everyday player. He may be excellent as a complimentary guy who plays a few times a week, though. On top of this, I think Kelly Shoppach, in the absence of Martinez, has shown he can catch every day and do a pretty good job with the glove, arm and the bat. I think the Indians are better off with Martinez and Shoppach in the lineup than with Martinez and Garko.

2. Jhonny Peralta should move to third. The Indians don't have a better third baseman. It has become painfully obvious that Andy Marte isn't going to get it done offensively or defensively. Besides, Peralta is at best average defensively at short and may be better suited for third base in the long term. On the other hand, Asdrubal Cabrera, who would replace Peralta, is an outstanding defensive shortstop, and may turn out to be a better than average hitter for the position.

Boy, those ribs are addictive!

Man gets 4 years for selling crack at fair
A Fremont man was sentenced to four years in prison Monday in Seneca County Common Pleas Court after pleading guilty to selling crack cocaine at the Seneca County Fair.

The best part is how he was selling it:
Law enforcement has said Carter would place a bag of crack cocaine underneath the food whenever someone he knew purchased the drug.

Hopefully, he didn't mix any in the rib sauce. I wonder if he won any rib contests? Ancient Chinese secret, huh?

Serial cereal blogging

Fooled you! It was Honeycomb.

Serial cereal blogging

I am planning to start with either Trix or Fruity Pebbles tomorrow. I like Fruity Pebbles better, but I finished a box of them just a few weeks ago. Tune in tomorrow to find out which I chose.

?/100=A good life

VENICE, Calif. - Dave Freeman, co-author of “100 Things to Do Before You Die,” a travel guide and ode to odd adventures that inspired readers and imitators, died after hitting his head in a fall at his home. He was 47.

I wonder how many of those 100 things did he actually do? Wouldn't it be awful if he was stuck on 99?

Oil prices: down, down down again

The latest story on the price of oil says it fell below $113 a barrel today.
I have a little insight into the whole thing because I once did a story in which I called something like a half-dozen oil executives when the price of gasoline went from something like $1 a gallon to $1.25, which seemed atrocious. That said, it's not much insight not is it very insightful.
Every person I talked to stressed supply and demand (leading to my oft repeated joke which I have already posted here, so there's no need to rehash that).
The problem is that its really hard to see why the supply fluctuates so much. One would think that a certain amount of oil would be constantly pumped so the flow would remain steady.
Compounding this, every article I have read during the recent run up offers different opinions about why the price is soaring, how high it will go, when it will snap back and what is causing it. Is it because of an attack on a pipeline in Nigeria? Because of tensions with Iran? Because of a hurricane? Because of too much activity by speculators? Panic over supply concerns in the future? Can we blame China and India? Are all these things working in concert to drive the price up?
The you have the people predicting the price of oil in the next year. They say the price will go down, but the prediction isn't low enough, so the price of oil rises because everyone thinks it won't fall.
Wasn't $50 a barrel some kind of threshold? The only commentator I could really trust (if I could remember who said it) said at the time that once the price of oil breached $50 a barrel, it indicated a fundamental shift in the market and the tendency would be to see how far up it could go. That guy knew what he was talking about.
I also heard a small oil company executive say that when gasoline cost more than $2 a gallon, they saw a sharp drop off in sales. That, I think, was in 2005. Nationwide, the number turned out to be more like $4 a gallon. I haven't checked, but I think the new station he built in 2005 is still in business and going strong.
People used to say that gasoline was a leader item, and that gas stations sometimes took a small loss on sales to get people to come into the store and buy high profit items like candy bars and pop and other convenience store fare. (Has anyone ever bought one of those nas-tay hot dogs on the rotary heaters?)
If this is so, then why did they install pay at the pump credit card readers in such abundance? I never go into convenience stores any more, unless I am on a long trip or I absolutely have to. If gas is a "loss leader," those poor guys must be losing money hand over fist.
I have no idea why oil, and thus gasoline, price go up and down. That's why I get so frustrated. I think other people feel the same way. There's no apparent reason, there's nothing you can do about it, and as a consumer you just feel helpless.

Who's watching the Watchmen movie?

Someone, and I don't remember who, asked me about the Watchmen movie. Here's a column that tells us a little bit about it.
And, here's the movie's Web site and a trailer for the 2009 release.

Boy, there are a lot of gullible people out there

So, apparently, there's some e-mails going around saying that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ. Maybe there are a bunch of people in Findlay, Ohio, who believe that, too.
If you Google this silly notion, you get a long list of people actually discussing it. Here's what Internet de-bunking site Snopes.com has to say about that. In case you don't wanna look, and really are that gullible, the site tells us that notion is "false."
Apparently, if spreading false rumors that a candidate is a Muslim doesn't work, then up the ante to anti (Christ, that is).
I don't care who you are going to vote for, anyone who perpetuates this kind of crap deserves to have their keys to the Internet taken away.

Serial cereal blogging

I just finished a box of "Fruity Pebbles" and started a box of "Golden Grahams," for anyone who's interested. I have, in my inventory, boxes of "Honeycomb," "Trix," and "Fruity Pebbles." to go.

By the way, there's three of those thirty little boxes of cereal left. Two "Corn Flakes," because I don't really like them, and one "Rice Krispies," just because.

Real life headlines

Here's a story that I offer without comment.
Man banned from fiancée's flat after noisy sex sessions

On a slightly related note:
Cops: 'Porn inspector' demands free videos
Of course, he wasn't a porn inspector. But, even the police gave him credit for being clever.

Dark Knight plays second fiddle in his own movie

I left “The Dark Knight” wishing Heath Ledger had spent more time on screen, and he was on screen a lot.
Before the movie came out, reviewers said his performance as The Joker was something special, maybe even Oscar worthy. It only added to the movie’s mystique that he died shortly after filming was completed.
I am not an Oscar judge but if I was I’d certainly have to consider Ledger’s performance as worthy of the award. He didn’t dominate every scene in the movie in the same way that Jack Nicholson did in 1988’s “Batman.” But, his psychotic, homicidal take on the character is the sort of thing that can cause nightmares even in adults.
Take, for example, the scene in which he describes why he likes killing his victims with knives: it’s because he can find out what their true personality is just before they die.
Context is also helpful: The Joker is calmly discussing this topic with a police officer in a jail cell. Further, he offers to tell his guard which of his fellow officers proved to be cowards when he killed them.
Ledger’s Joker also has horrible scars on his cheeks, perhaps an outward sign of the horrible scars on his psyche. The scars help to form his permanent, sinister smile. He always offers to tell his victims how he got them. Each time, the story is different, but still hideous and we can do nothing but watch, knowing what’s coming next.
There’s another gruesome touch Ledger adds to the character’s cheeks: Throughout the movie, he licks the inside of his mouth, making a wet saliva sound that constantly reminds us the scars go clear through the skin.
Even without Ledger, the movie would have been successful. The plot, of course, has the Joker holding Gotham City in peril and Batman must figure out a way to stop him.
Christian Bale as Batman is as good as he was in the first installment of this series.
As Bruce Wayne, he remains the debonair millionaire playboy. When he dons the cowl, however, his voice leaves his mouth with a snarl and a rasp helping him strike fear into the hearts of Gotham’s criminals.
Batman’s love interest remains the same character as in the first movie, attorney Rachel Dawes. This time around, she is played by Maggie Gyllenhaal instead of Katie Holmes.
I liked Gyllenhaal in the role better. She portrays a more mature, assertive Rachel than Holmes did.
The romantic triangle spins as we learn Rachel has left Bruce is dating District Attorney Harvey Dent, played by Aaron Eckhart.
"The Dark Knight's" unique but frightening characters drive the plot, which grabs the audience in the beginning and never lets go.
The film opens with a classic Joker bank robbery that almost an amalgam of many, many Joker heists in the Batman comics over the years.
After that, it only gains momentum and, even though the following is a little cliché, tosses and turns the viewer through a roller coaster ride. What makes it so powerful is that it's not only an action movie but also a psychological thriller because of Bale's driven, frightful hero and Ledger's maniacal villain.
This movie definitely is not for kids and not even for some grownups. The frightening psychology the movie depicts that makes it deeply troubling.
It’s sad that Ledger died, not only for the obvious reasons, but also because he’ll never be able to reprise the role. Maybe it’s better this way.
If The Joker is to return, another actor will have re-invent the character just like The Joker may have to do the same thing himself for another duel with the Dark Knight.
The folks who made these movies have done such a good job of re-inventing the characters from the comics, I know I’ll be watching.

(Just a thought: Mark Hamill provided the voice of The Joker in “Batman: The Animated Series.” I wonder if he’d accept a shot at playing the character in a sequel?)

Another great new issue of DHP online

Here's the link! Great stuff by Dean Motter and Keith Knight.

Leeroy Jenkins is my new hero

(I'm back, by the way.) For those of you who are gamers, online or otherwise. Apparently, Leeroy was getting something to eat and didn't hear the plan. This wouldn't be half as funny if not for the ridiculous battle cry. See for yourself:



He even made Jeopardy:

Words of wisom from Jim Traficant

"Kick them in the crotch."

The Cat That Hated People

Another good one from Tex Avery. As you may have guessed, I am not home and am running up posts just to keep you entertained until I get back in a week.

Two minutes from the 1948 World Series

The last one won by the Cleveland Indians, just for the record. Maybe they'd have won another, if not for Jose Mesa.

Sandy Koufax and Booker T.

It's fun to listen to the music even if you don't like to Dodgers. What a pitcher!

You just gotta listen

Paul and Storm from their days with Da Vinci's Notebook. This is a little bit off color, but what the heck, right?

Paul and Storm again (It's been too long, hasn't it?)

Now that I can post videos, you can see Paul and Storm with just one click. Here's two good ones:



This song beats a joke to death so gleefully it's hare not to love. (Actually, this is DaVinci's Notebook, but never fear. Almost the same thing.)

I never know how seriously to take these things

Hmmm ...

If only Bat Boy was involved.

Hail to thee, fat person

Allan Sherman tell us why getting fat is patriotic.

The Jetsons, as you've never seen them before

An episode of The Jetsons, as created by John Kricfalusi, of Ren and Stimpy fame. Apparently, this aired on the Cartoon network at some time or other and I completely missed it. Thanks, YouTube!

MisterCellaneous: Edj-a-macating the public

Tom Lehrer again with "New Math." Now, those of us who went to school after, say, 1950 learned the new math, but this is funny nonetheless.

Ambush Bug returns

One of the most unique characters in comics history returns to DC tomorrow, namely Ambush Bug.

Keith Giffen's creation got his start annoying Superman, then starred in a couple of limited series and specials back in the 1980s. I happen to have somehow identified as funny and bought these comics as a teenager.

Ambush Bug is unique because he's the only character in the DC universe who knows he's in a comic book.

Most of his appearances were parodies of various comics or creators. Some of the jokes were so subtle I didn't even get them unit much later. Other things, well, they were completely over the top. Especially absurd was the Bug's sidekick, a stuffed toy named "Cheeks, The Toy Wonder."

Another running joke in one aeries was Darkseid making a sudden appearance at the end of every issue, seemingly threatening our hero. The next issue left off with no mention about what had happened. Finally, it was revealed that the Darkseid the Bug had been seeing was an inflatable doll. (I have no idea what a person would be doing with an inflatable doll.) (You sicko you.)

And who could forget "Quantis, the Killer Koala?"

The comic was so funny because of the constant reference to obscure DC characters and nit-picky continuity points. Because Ambush Bug knew he was in a comic book, he was in a perfect position to not only meet these characters, but make fun of them, too. These teenety-weeney continuity details now are things fans obsess over, and so there may be even more fertile ground for Giffen and Fleming to mine for jokes than there used to be. For that matter, there's something like 20 more years worth of stories to make fun of. (Of which to make fun?)

Here's a list that tells about various Ambush Bug appearances.

And, here's what DC tells us about the new series:

Written by Keith Giffen and Robert Loren Fleming; Art by Giffen and Al Milgrom; Cover by J.H. Williams III; Variant Cover by Giffen
The wait is over — everyone's favorite Bug is back, courtesy of the original AMBUSH BUG team of Keith Giffen and Robert Loren Fleming! Cities will be destroyed! Cats and dogs will live in sin! Every unanswered question of the DC Universe will be answered! Live heroes will die and dead heroes will live! Okay, none of that actually happens, but join us anyway for this totally irreverent romp through the DC Universe as only Ambush Bug could give you!

All this and a cover by the immortal J.H. Williams III? If it fails to show up at the comic shop tomorrow, I'll cry.

He-he-he

Still, nothing can make me happier than oil prices tumbling.

Here's the latest.

Today isn't Dec. 7, but ...

Here is a YouTube video that plays some of the audio of President Roosevelt's Pearl harbor speech. I just thought you'd like to hear it.



I think I'll start finding and linking to some great speeches.

MisterCellaneous: Edja-ma-cating the public

Never let it be said that this site is not educational. Here's Tom Lehrer to teach us a thing or two.

Since we linked to Wir Sind Helden before ...

... here's another one, a video released last year.

(One other note: How come I have to go to Germany to find a band that actually seems to have fun playing music? Well, I shouldn't be so hasty. For all the German I know, they are singing about peeling back their toenails with keys from Spam cans.)

Nixon: No illegal campaign contributions, but will keep dog

Here's a YouTube video of one of the earliest speeches on TV: vice presidential candidate Richard Nixon's "Checkers" speech from 1952. Here's a link that explains what it's all about, for those of you who don't remember these things.

This was one of the first times TV was used by a political leader to directly address the country.

Nothing could make me happier

Yahoo! News tells us, "The price of oil recorded its biggest weekly drop ever, and a gallon of gas finally pulled back from its record high."

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, eh?

Remember, oil companies always say prices are set by supply and demand. As I have written elsewhere, what this really means is they have the supply and they can demand whatever price they want for it.

Maybe the drop off in demand from gas going over $4 a gallon is enough to convince them that Americans may be addicted to driving, but they may be more than willing to break a dependence on gasoline.

Another new DHP online comic

This issue features a story about cowboy insects (who doesn't wanna read about a bunch of bugs shooting it out in the old West?).

The really interesting piece is only two pages long. Not much story there, but Tara McPherson has a very unique art style. I have only seen it in a few places before, but I really enjoy it.

Have fun!

Pretty pictures

The recent covers on "Detective Comics" have been really awesome. Here's an example. I have not been buying the comic for a long time, but it's sure fun to look at the covers.

How about if we only use him as a pinch hitter with the bases loaded?

Russell Branyan of the Milwaukee Brewers has 11 home runs and 19 RBI. That has to be close to some kind of record for driving in the fewest runs with that many homers.

Think about it: the lowest number of RBI you could possibly have with 11 homers is 11. By contrast, in 1985 Tommy Herr drove in 110 runs with only 8 homers.

At Branyan's rate, if he hit 30 home runs, he'd have under 60 RBI.

Brook Jacoby once had a similar year, only with a lot more at-bats than Branyan. In 1987, he had 32 home runs and 69 RBI in 540 at-bats. Branyan, so far, has 106. At the current rate, for a full season, he'd hit something like 55 HR and only have about 95 RBI. Jacoby still had more than two RBI for every homer. Branyan is still below that.

Strangely enough, Branyan has had pretty low RBI to home run rates. Last year, Branyan had 10 HR and 26 RBI, in 2003, 9 HR and 26 RBI, and in 2004 11 HR and 27 RBI.

I remember hearing one of the Indians' broadcasters say when Branyan came up with the Indians, one scout — it may have been Ted Simmons — said he'd hit 500 home runs and strike out 2,500 times. I may have the numbers wrong, but I have the sentiment right.

Branyan hasn't had enough playing time for either of those milestones, but he still hits a lot of home runs and not much else.

Talk about feast or famine.